JorieLyn

When a customer reminds a waiter that he forgot something, he should apologise and serve whatever he forgotten right? At least that was what I thought. Instead, the waiter just simply said, ‘ Oh it’s just a bun so it actually doesn’t matter if you get it or not ‘.

In another incident this lady who nearly charged my mother a few hundreds extra (few hundreds extra, mind you) for something that my mom didn’t have to pay, put on a sulky face and stood her foot when my mom enquire her about it. She then stormed off to ask he colleague. Upon returning, her face was even more dark and grim when she got to know that she was at wrong. So, everything was put to right isn’t it? NOT. She forgot the magic word. Instead of apologizing when my mother confronted her, she rolled her eyes and said whatever. Whatever???

On the other hand, there are people who apologise profusely. Even for stuffs, which they are not at fault. I call it the sorry virus (courtesy from my friend). There’s this girl who said sorry to her lecturer for not doing well in her quiz. It was just a quiz, God… And she didn’t do that badly. Besides it’s not the lecturer’s loss, it’s her own loss. So instead of apologizing, she should work harder. I think the lecturer would appreciate that better.

Is the world turning upside down?

So the four of us were sitting around a table. In the midst of discussing chemistry, we heard the ‘azan’. As a Malaysian, I know that we have to remain silent for a while, and I did just that out of respect to my Muslim friends present. To my surprise, one of my group members asked me why did I stop. She said there’s no need to remain silent and beckon me to continue. She also asked me, ‘When did you become a Malay? I didn’t know you were so Malayish.’

I was shocked to hear that and I felt for my Muslim friend sitting next to me. I could tell that she was offended by that statement and so was I. What does respecting other’s religion has got to do with my personal believe. Saying that I’m becoming a Malay is so not cool and very rude indeed. She didn’t even consider about my friend’s feelings.

Here’s another incident.

So, I just my timetable for the classes in semester 2.After having a look at it, I said aloud, ‘ Why can’t they have agama class on the last period on Wednesday? That way, the non-Muslims can go back early. Like the moral class (class for the non-Muslims), it’s held on the last period on Monday. ‘

Bear in mind, I was just suggesting and wasn’t even complaining. Of course my roommate had to, just had to add something nasty to that, ‘ So what!!! Who’s the majority over here? ’. She said it in such a tone that her words pierced through my heart. I was taken aback by her comment.

I don’t understand how these people think. Maybe they just don’t think at all. That’s why they can say such things. And I can’t do anything about it. The idea of a Malaysian not respecting others is absurd and quite new to me. And that attitude is just intolerable and totally unaccepted. Well, it’s time to grow up sisters! Stop being so childish and shallow.

So shallow and disrespectful that they ought to be packed into a box and sent home so that they can live in their teeny tiny world of their own.

You were able to forget about him.
Why go through the whole process again? A difficult one, mind you.

Just because he changed table to sit next to your table for lunch on a Friday afternoon? Come on, it was just a coincidence. Maybe the table he first took was dirty. And bout him glancing your way more than once, he was probably trying to figure out if your ethnicity. You don’t exactly look like a pure Chinese, you know.

It’s not that he’s interested in you. He did not even talk to you before. And even if he does behave and make as if he likes you, so what? It doesn’t mean the situation will get anywhere. Look at a very good example - what happened between you and that bastard. Let me rephrase that, look at the nothing happened between you and that bastard.

Why can’t reality hit you like the way it did before?

My phonebook in my cell is full of contact numbers but strangely, i can never bring myself to call anyone when i need someone to talk to. During those times, i always felt like throwing my cell to the wall.

I don't get bullied in school, I smile to everyone, I talk to everyone who talks to me, teachers are ok with me and I don't have any enemies. My school life doesn't sucks. Actually it's pretty ok.

I'm not a person who enjoys gossiping with others. I'd rather finish my assignments when others are busy passing on the hottest gossips and rumours. Usually, when others sit in circles and begin their endless stories, I would not join in even when they beckon me to. After refusing to do so for a few times, they got it and never invited me for their chatting sessions again.

It's not that I face problems talking to people, it's just that sometimes I think there is no need to tell others about certain things which they do not have to know about me or others and for me to know about others too. So, I only talk about necessary stuff with others.

When you just talk about necessary stuff to others you tend to be kinda left out and detach yourself from others. You won't know others personal stuff. That's the reason why I can't relate myself to anybody or find it hard to trust anybody. I find it hard to talk to others when I don't trust them. Eventhough it is just something mundane, it feels weird having to talk to someone who you don't really know.

I have issues with this 'to trust or not to trust' thing. Maybe it's the side effects of having bitches as friends from elementary school till secondary school. Getting backstab is already a norm to me. So is having the whole class not talk to me. I know how does it feels like when everyone you completely thought were your friends stop talking to you and start saying nasty things about you. I know how does it feel like when you know that you are the least liked in your group of friends or that your friends find you a pain in the back and will be more than happy to shake you off.

The solution that I found to prevent this from happening to me again is to not trust anybody completely or let them get too near me. However, it doesn't really make me happy.

All I have now are ex-classmates, schoolmates, roommates and 1 friend maybe 2. Maybe 2 friends because the rest are not my definition of whom I would like to call friend. They are merely people I know. Sounds mean, but friends to me are people I trust completely and can always count on.

Not everybody I talk to or laugh with are what I consider friends. However, I'm happy to have them in my life. Eventhough I don't consider them my friends(someone I trust completely and can always count on) they do add happiness to my life. I know others may have different definitions of friends compared to me.

My relationship with my family are fine. Bottom line is, they don't understand me when they think they do and we are not really the type of family who shares everything. Don't get me wrong, we don't communicate well but we are not a broken family.

So here I am, alone.

I may not look lonely on the outside but on the inside, I'm terribly lonely.